Limited or Limitless.

My mind is on continuous loop, unable to completely devote itself to one subject. Just this morning alone I’ve worked on my novel, a short story, a blog post, played guitar, and read some passages from a JFK book I recently acquired. In my adolescence I hoped this would lead to something akin to the “Renaissance Man” phenomena of the Enlightenment and beyond. Polymath, Greek for having learned much, has always been a goal I have ventured towards. But to be this way takes a certain drive that I often find myself praying to no one in particular for. If I can not reach this capacity then I may end up being someone who is simply good or even mediocre at so many things instead of being great at just one. That is my on going nightmare. Does anyone strive to be simply good at something? I guess there are some out there, content to go through the motions. They do just enough to get by. Those people, on days when I feel particularly down, receive my envy.

What type of masochist devotes themselves to multiple ventures? Who would choose to worship all deities? Renaissance humanism and their basic tenet was that humans are limitless in their capacity for development. The school of thought being embrace knowledge and develop to our full capabilities in the realms of intellect, art, social and physical practice. To be a great thinker and to do great actions. Perhaps that is the two moods I ever feel, limited or limitless.

I do not fancy myself in the same circles as da Vinci or Francis Bacon but I do strive for greatness.I always feel like an ass when I say that I’m destined for more than just good. Dreaming of being better is nothing to be disparaging about, it is what catapults us to so much more than we may have known we were capable of. I do strive to commit myself to the efforts of man kind. I seek to be a house with many mansions. Robert F Kennedy loved to paraphrase George Bernard Shaw and say “Some men see things as they are and ask ‘Why?’ I dream of things that never were and ask ‘Why not?'” To sit idly by while the world passes is a sin that I have never been capable of wrapping my mind around. RFK felt similarly. How can so many be so content to allow others to shape their lives and discover the things that propel them? If the world was filled with those who waited then we would be within the direst of straights. I want to ask “Why not?” But I also want to answer the question too.

Someone once told me that not everything has to be grand on such a massive level to have that effect. Maybe I should strive to be great and worry about the grandness of it all later.



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